Ernie Alcantar, President Steve Windisch Jr, Vice President
Larry Lundberg, Treasurer Bob Moir, Sgt. at Arms
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!
“Follow me son” the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.
“First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.”
And they did.
“Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing.”
And they did.
“Now we eat everybody.” And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked, “Dad, why didn’t we just eat them all at first?
Why did we swim around and around them?”
His wise father replied, “Because they taste better without the shit inside!”
The Wisdom of Phyillis Diller
As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.–Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.
The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.My photographs don’t do me justice—they look just like me.Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle-—keep away from children.I asked the waiter, ‘Is this milk fresh?‘ He said, ‘Lady, three hours ago it was grass.’The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.You know you’re old if they have discontinued your blood type.
MUST WATCH ~ Roy Benevidez Speech
This is an interesting video of the Orca’s intelligence.
The Comedy Wildlife Photography Award
An owl dangling precariously from a branch has scooped the overall prize of this year’s Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards.
Out of the 3,500 entries, Tibor Kercz won the overall prize with his series of images showing an owl losing its footing and trying to claw its way back on to a branch.
Other entrants included a yawning dormouse, a photo bombing sea turtle and a rather shocked seal. Take a look at all the winning photos from the competition.
Tibor Kercz’s photo of an undignified owl was the overall winner.
Andrea Zampatti won the Land category with a photograph of a dormouse.
Troy Mayne won Under The Sea category with a photobombing sea turtle.
John Threlfall won the In The Air category with a bird and an ominous vapor trail.
Daisy Gilardini photographed a polar bear clinging on to its mother.
Penny Palmer caught a sea otter reaching for the sky.
Carl Henry’s was highly commended for his photo entitled All Dressed And Ready For Church.
Olivier Colle spotted a hare munching on grass.
Katy Laveck-Foster snapped two cheeky monkeys
Jean-Jacques Alcalay captured the moment it looked as though a wildebeest was riding on the back of its companions.
George Cathcart was highly commended for his photo entitled WTF.
Douglas Croft caught a fox getting a hole in one on a golf course.
Daniel Trim snapped two mudskippers appearing to be in mid-song.
Despite scandals, key California politicians glide toward reelection. Here’s why: Read Article HERE
A flashback if you grew up in Fremont like me!