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Pickle the Cat Helps Koda the Dog
MARK YOUR CALENDARS!
It’s Easter and the Irish are at again
Irish Confession:I went into the confessional box after many years of being away from the Catholic church.Inside I found a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On one wall, there was a row of decanters with fine Irish whiskey and Waterford crystal glasses.On the other wall was a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
When the priest came in, I said to him, “Father, forgive me, for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be.”
He said, “Patrick, you moron, you’re on my side.”
Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital. “Quick!” he said. “Send an ambulance, my wife is going to have a baby!”
“Tell me, is this her first baby?” the intern asked.
“No, this is her husband, Kevin, speaking.”
AN IRISH BLONDE IN A CASINO:
An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet
twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice. She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely naked.”
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!”
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed: “YES! YES! I WON, I WON!”
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings (and her clothes) and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?”
The other answered, “I don’t know – I thought you were watching the dice.”
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Not all Irish are drunks. Not all blondes are dumb.
But all men…are men.
My Mother wanted me to be a priest. No way!! Can you imagine giving up your sex life; and then once a week people come in to tell you the details and highlights of theirs?
Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, ‘Not guilty.’
“That’s wonderful!” shouted Reilly. “Does that mean I can keep the money?”
A tourist asks an Irishman: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?”
To which the Irishman replies: “Well if they fell forwards, they’d still be in the bloody boat.”
Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink.
Quinn thinks he’s very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.
Finnegan: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up ’til two o’clock in the morning, I can’t break her out of it.
Keenan: What on earth is she doin’ at that time?
Finnegan: Waitin’ for me to come home.
Editor’s Note: MyBuckle
YOUR SCIENCE FACT OF THE DAY
Free electrons (valance electrons) are located in the outer shell of an atom and are free to move about. The presence of these free electrons in certain metals is what allows them to conduct electricity: under an electric field, free electrons can move through the metallic material, passing an electrical charge as they go.
NOW DON’T BE TELLING ME THAT MUSINGS ISN’T INTENDED AS BONIFIED EDUCATIONAL MATERIAL!
A graphic artist from Germany works from home. His wife leaves their baby girl with him each day as she goes off to work. A few months ago, he got tired of her texting to check on how he was doing with the baby. So, he started photoshopping responses to text back to her, and it has become a worldwide Instagram sensation. Here are a few of them.
Someone send names and I’ll repost in next Musings.